Day 4: All Is Lost

It is the day after the creepy guy, the “uncle” and the little boy have freaked me out. I left at two in the morning, ruining the tire chocks, and throwing everything in the car. I just drove for hours afterward, but then got really tired. I don’t want to stop because it feels safer driving, and being in the car. But- I must. I’m exhausted. So I pull into a quiet rest area. Clear my huge duffle bag, filled with clothes I am sure I won’t wear, open the window vents, and close Cooper and myself inside. I fall asleep- for probably over an hour. I wake to a hot sweaty day. You know that feeling when you fall asleep, but wake up in the sun- and Cooper- poor Cooper is panting. 

Nebraska Sunrise-around 5 am

I awake. Change my clothes quickly, and head out, but not before I see a few more lurkers, and creeps. I think I see them everywhere now. It’s like that new model car that your friend tells you about, and you don’t know what he’s talking about until he points one out on the freeway. After that it’s all you see, and you wonder why you haven’t seen it sooner. That’s what I am feeling today- creeps and liars- EVERYWHERE- I turn! I’m good today, I don’t make eye contact, or talk to anybody. This feels strange, but I know it is best.

We are in Nebraska. Did I mention what amazing sunsets, and sunrises I’ve been seeing. I’m usually asleep or not paying attention for them at home, but on this trip I am awake early, and surrounded by the sun, and fields, and openness. You see a lot more when you’re alone, and have nothing else to do, but look around. This morning I woke up early (2am- remember) and drove until the sun was just rising. I was blown away. Maybe there is a metaphor here. I don’t know. 

I am back on the road, and I am starting to feel like all this driving, and research and experience is in vain. I’m not sure what I am doing all this for. I have 20 more hours to Chicago. I need to drop off Cooper and meet my friend Janet- who decided to meet me when she heard I was doing this. All needs to happen- by early Thursday- at least that is what I’d want. It’s about 10:30. The residual of creep/liar is really getting to me. I have a tendency to let disappointment take over. I don’t compartmentalize very well. 

I am driving, and a little bothered. I feel a scab on the back of my neck. I think it’s a scab, but I don’t remember getting cut. I feel it again, and it loosens. I pull it out of my hair, and its a small ugly ugly bug. I am so grossed out. I pinch it tight, and it’s legs move- it looks a little like a spider, but flatter. I throw it out the window, and regret not taking a picture. I google “tick”. Yes- I google it while driving- it’s open hwy, and nobody is around. Sure enough pictures of the same bug show up. I am so disgusted. I am definitely NOT in California anymore. I want to go home. I’m tired, I feel vulnerable, and now I have bugs.I start feigning Lymes disease. I’m sure I have it.  I”m not cut out for this. I am not a camper. I just want to get back to civilization. I really am thinking about turning around and going home- but then what about Janet? 

In Script Writing- according to the book Save The Cat one of the “beats” is called “all is lost”. This is when the character gets to a point where everything they had hoped for doesn’t seem possible. Things are adding up. It usually comes right before the character digs down deep and figures it all out. I was having an “All is lost” moment. It’s funny how I came on this journey to see what a long road trip like this would be like for the characters I am writing. I’ve got a lot to work with so far. 

I decide after the Tick- to soldier on. I am pumped to get to Chicago. I rearrange my thoughts and get excited about the next stop- but somehow I don’t stop. I drive over 20 hours, and pull into Chicago late- but wait, what about Cooper?