Chica Go!

The week before I headed out on my journey, I started to panic. I have never before embarked on something like this, and alone. At the time of planning it sounded like a perfect idea, but as the weeks and days passed, anxiety started to get to me, and I found myself having trouble thinking, and breathing through it all. I was scared- to put it simply.

Driving into the city for the first time.

Almost sundown, on the way to Paws Here. This is so beautiful!

I am a mom. I have been a mom for the last twenty one years. My youngest daughter is now seventeen, and will be a senior next year. Often times, I wonder what life is going to look like next year, with an empty house. In a way, the trip was about me learning to adventure alone. I have always believed that when it all comes down to it- we are alone. We come into this world alone, and we leave alone. It’s been an important practice for me to get very comfortable with myself, and accept my aloneness, and learn how to function in it. It’s hard for my social self. So, actually leaving, experiencing this "pre- empty nest journey" started to get under my skin! 

About four days before I left I posted on Facebook “Should I stay or should I go...” Of course, it’s a reference to the Clash song, but it was also a plea for a nudge. Everyone that knew about my journey, chimed in. Supportive, and forceful they said, “Gooooo!”

Early signs of civilization! Go Girl...Just go!!

I knew this, of course. I had planned the trip. There wasn't really a possibility of canceling. I was going, but the fear was still there. Most times, answers to pressing issues come to me in the night. It’s my subconscious mind working things through. I woke up the next morning, and thought “Go! Go to Chicago!” and then I stopped. I said it aloud  “ChicaGO!” I separated the words, “Chick- a- GO”, and then it hit me, and I started laughing. “Chica GO!” I know it sounds crazy, but my answer was right there. “Go Girl!” It was about being a girl, and being brave, and taking a leap. I was going to the ultimate Go Girl city- “Chica Go!”

Fred and Dianne of Paws Here. I really like them.

Paws Here Grounds- Coop was so happy.

I had to drop Cooper off beforehand. I didn’t want to deal with him in the city, and he needed a break from the car. I had found a place near Utica, Illinois- about an hour outside the city. It was called PawsHere  and they were so kind and friendly on the phone, their prices were amazing, and they even said I could leave my trailer on their property for free. I was really excited to meet Fred and his wife Diane. They even stayed  at the kennel an extra hour for me and then as soon as Diane and I met- you couldn’t get us away from each other. We gabbed, and chatted, and I knew, once again, that this trip was enchanted, and blessed, and  I was absolutely suppose to be here.They wanted to hear all about my journey, and were excited about my script. It gave me that last bit of energy I needed to hit the city. Plus, Cooper- my sweet dear friend was excited, and they loved him up for the two days I was gone. http://www.pawsherepetresort.com/ He was groomed, and treated special. I barely recognized him when I returned Sunday. 

I arrived to meet Janet at a cute little pub late Thursday night. As soon as I pulled into Chicago- It was fabulous. The city is amazing. Surrounded by water the sky was lit up. I love a city. I love the energy it gives, and how alive and protected I feel when I am in one. I was telling Janet this. I said, “I think I love a city so much because it’s the ultimate community. People are close together, and connected. It’s impossible not to interact!” It’s how I feel. and Arriving in Chicago had been the light at the end of my tunnel. I just knew to my core, that great things were going to happen here. I knew that all the planning, and the ticks, and the creepers, and the loneliness was worth it. I could feel a sense of acceptance, and belonging. This was not in vain. My mission was meant to be- but it could have just been delirium from 20 hours of driving. Yes- 20 hours by the time I got to the pub.