Soul Purpose

We've had such interactions, such connections, such shakes! Comfort zones are called that for a reason, right? We "zone" in our comfort. As much as we like them, I am learning that they can also become toxic and danger zones. Everything about this trip for me is a shake to that danger. A throwing up of my fist to comfort- even though I am unsure of what to expect, and at times completely uncomfortable.  The reward is obvious. I am soaking in this discomfort, and finding treasures for not only my characters, but myself.


Saturday, Janet and I sort of wake up slow, and wonder what our day has for us. It's a "Bring It" unspokenness that we are dealing with. We've seen the burning bush, and we know that somehow this is a blessed journey. From Janet's perspective, and her expressions, I am experiencing it more than I actually would have if I were alone. It's like watching your child discover Disneyland for the first time. It's comical, and awe inspiring...and I am learning from seeing her response that the "zone" we have walked into is really fun and cool, and not at all ordinary. So our day continues...


My friends at "Paws Here" had recommended a restaurant called Cafe Lux in the city. Diane said that it was a nice place to look around. It happened to be right around the corner from our hotel, (of course), and so we both thought while we waited on Brent's return text (to see when he could get us into Harpo) that we'd lunch. As we were walking we looked up and saw the restaurant right in front of us. It was on the second floor, and had panoramic windows that looked out to the city. Janet said, "Wow- how nice it would be to have that view." Meaning the table overlooking town. We both imagined that was a special request; so we just gave our name at the desk and said "two- first available." It was about a twenty minute wait. The restaurant was huge- tons of tables, and it reminded me of an upper scale Cheesecake Factory. It was beautifully decorated, and did I mention the view? Our pager  buzzed and low and behold the host directed us to the table that Janet had said would be nice to sit in. I know, I know, at this point it must sound like hyperbole. It must sound like I am fabricating details to fit what I want the trip to be, but I am not. We sat down, and started laughing- once again saying "Of Course!" Even our waiter said, "You didn't request this table?" When we shook our heads no, she said "When the universe smiles upon you just smile back!" or something to that effect. So we sat in this amazing table and smiled. Janet and I, if I recall barely spoke, other than to comment on all the "fancy" people coming in and out of Cartier below. We commented on how the beautiful cars sat out front, and the passerby's (men) would all look at the cars, and the women did not. We counted how many times this happened until it was too many to count. We soaked in the universe's gift, and enjoyed the view, and some homemade warm cookies for dessert- why not?


Brent texted back mid lunch and said he couldn't give us a tour until Sunday. Janet was leaving early that morning, and was debating whether or not to change her flight. It was a tough call. I didn't know how to direct her because Brent had said the studio had been disassembled, and we aren't sure how much of Oprah Show would be visible, or recognizable. There were no guarantees, and the expense was a gamble.

As we were leaving the restaurant, we decided to check off some of the itinerary of Chicago. We go to the beach side, people watch, and check out the pier. It's crowded, and carnivalesque, and over touristy. The energy form our journey is quickly depleting with every step further down the boardwalk. Janet looks at me and says, "what d'ya think?" I tell her I've seen enough- and to my excitement she says "How quickly can we get out of here?" This is the kind of thing that could send my invisible Genie home. No magic here- just a commercialized good time. Everyone recommended a boat ride. The architecture is beautiful here, and the lake is spectacular- so we decide on this.  We buy some tickets, and decide to go to a restaurant called the "Purple Pig" even though we aren't really hungry, but a summer drink sounds fun. It just so happens that after Janet gets home and looks up the restaurant she discovers it was rated the number one new restaurant n the US by Bon Appetit, but did you really have any doubt, at this point? Needless, to say, the food is so good. We eat bone marrow with herb spread, spring peas with a zap of mint...this was a mouth holiday, considering all the canned chicken salad I'd had on my road trip. Absolute joy. We finished our boat tour and learned mostly nothing from our narrator, Mr. Mumblkins, but it was still beautiful to see the city from this perspective even if I couldn't understand anything about the history.


As we are leaving the boat and walking back on Michigan Ave, I look up and casually see a high school friend walking by (who actually had emailed me a few days earlier saying she was following my trip, and told me to have a great time in Chicago, that they were also passing through). Kim McAfee was walking toward her family, who was car watching as we walked by ( boys- car watching...full circle). "Kim?" I look over at Janet who is shaking her head and laughing. Kim looks up and gives me a big hug. She says,"Hey kids this is the 'Tear Drop Lady'" which is pretty funny,  and then to me, "There are 8 million people in this city- and we run into each other? What are the chances?" I'm thinking based on our score over the last couple days the chances are amazing!

So Saturday leaves us full bellied, and assured that coming to Chicago was good for both Janet and me. Janet feels renewed, she tells me. She regains faith in the world. She has been at a place where many of us find ourselves at different points in our lives when we lose sight of our hope and our purpose. Sometimes life gives us a bum hand, and we forget that eventually the deal will get reshuffled, and our chance will come. I think she views this trip, and all the silly remarkable, and meaningful coincidences and experiences as more than chance. How being mindful of choices can change outcomes, and make us feel alive, and reminded that each one of us has purpose. We ride the storm, and along the way experience small, sweet, yummy gifts. I also am reminded this. Even though my trip is based on a sole purpose it seems that it's also been a soul purpose on many levels.


Today was a little break from the actual script and story development, but I think it was a vacation day. A renewing for the drive home. A reflection, and celebration. I leave Sunday. But before I do- Harpo awaits! It'll be hard to sleep. 

Genie In A Bottle of Beer

Janet and I make it back to the hotel. A little sweaty, and tired, but excited that we saw Harpo. The men we met that spoke to us were so sweet, and we are convinced that the Mid-West Mentality that you here about is not fictitious. Chicago has it all. A great lively city, beautiful architecture, and greenbelts. Plus the sea, and a kind attitude. It's like meeting a really nice and warm super model, who will eat pizza with you without telling you she needs to go to the gym afterward- that's Chicago!

We are tired, and debate on whether we can muster the energy to walk across town to Rick Bayless' restaurant, but we are hungry. Hunger wins, and Janet is excited about this chef she's watched on Food Network. I love good food, so I'm in, but we take a cab. Frontera Grill is packed, and the host tells us it'll be an hour and a half wait. Janet isn't sure if I want to wait, but my attitude is "Why Not?" Plus, I used to be a hostess in a restaurant- we always oversold the time- to get customers to leave. When you're not the owner, and you're in your youth,there's a local party at 10pm  that you want to get to, it's common to tell the customer a time frame that only the desperate will wait for. The theory: the less customers the quicker the closing, the quicker to the party! So I always subtract these arbitrary wait times by measuring the age of the host.

We walk across the street to a bar called Fado'. It's authentically Irish. The bartenders speak the dialect, and the dark woods, and smell feel as though I am in Dublin. Janet thinks so too. We are loving this, and if the dinner reservations don't happen- we are perfectly, content. Plus- we get carded twice. I finally ask if we are being Punked! There is no way we look under age- but it worked because we are giddy! Nothing like a little stroke to make us purr.

Janet orders a beer, and I order this fabulous drink- a bluberry something, gin/vodka and tonic. I think next to a recent Gin Fizz in San Francisco, this is my new favorite. Note to self- call Fado and get details of drink. Next to us is a gathering of three men. I have my camera, so it seems it is obvious we are from out of town. The men next to us make their way over, and chat us up. We tell them we are out of towners, and they go nuts wanting to give us a proper itinerary. Viagara Triangle is mentioned, Chicago Pizza, Top of the Hancock building, Blues on Halston. Of course the Viagara Triangle gets our attention, and we laugh over this. But then the Chicago Pizza is argued over, and I chime in that "Pizano's is on Oprah's Best list!" I use Saul's quote to act like I know what I am talking about. The conversation switches to where we are individually from, and I tell them that I have driven myself to Chicago, and Janet tells them about the Tear Drop. They are cracking up, and I show them a picture of my trailer. Brent, one of the guys says, "So you guys are Oprah fans?" Janet and I look at each other forgetting my earlier tout of pizza lists. We aren't sure how to answer. We laugh, and say, "We like Oprah." Brent says, "I work at Harpo!" Janet and I then look at each other, and start laughing. We can't stop. Our thoughts are "Of course, he does!" Which brings Genie wish number 2 full circle. Brent works at Harpo, and then continues with, "I can give you guys a tour if you'd like. When do you go home?" This is incredible. This is the wish I threw out there earlier today, but didn't get. He walks away and Janet and I are once again stunned. I video tape her so we don't forget what just happened, and the energy surrounding it ( but somehow this gets lost). When Brent, and his dad return, Janet tells them of my script. We tell them what the journey is about, and that us meeting him is part of the enchantment. He is so sweet, and loves my idea. He tells us little sweet things about Oprah. How he was a cameraman on the Oprah and Gail Road Trip. He is thrilled about my idea, and says he is the last one to get in the way of a mission. He will absolutely give us a tour. Before we leave to go back to our dinner reservations we exchange numbers with a promise that when the movie is made, I am buying him a drink at Fado. I really can't wait for that to happen. Everyone in Chicago, so far has been incredible, and I cannot wait to come back with my story to share it with them.

Dinner reservations end up being about an hour, maybe an hour, ten- we get Sangria (I love this), and Janet orders ceviche- which she has been craving!  The food is great, and right next to us sits a funny group of men who are in the Gaming Business. they make video games, and one of the men went to my rival school where I teach. So crazy, and just yet another example of "small world" reminders.  We are all connected. Dreams are simple to achieve when you realize that each person you meet, is connected, and it's all a matter of threadbare walls that keep you from here to there. Moments- change our lives. Simple moments.

When we leave it's pouring outside. It's a beautiful Summer rain, and a perfect night. I love that I came. I love that Janet came too. We are in awe...keep laughing at all the little coincidences that keep happening, and our statement every time something happens is "Of Course..."  Our cab driver picks us up, and says, "You're a couple of teachers!" We laugh, not sure how he knows this, but at this point we are just going with it all. I ask him where he is from? He makes me guess. I say, "Ghana" I win points for not saying "Jamaica" and he tells us he is from "Nigeria" I was close. This little detail doesn't mean much, but it's just an example of how the feeling is that we are experiencing. It's like we've stepped into something magical. Both of us feel it, and are exhilarated by it. It's fun. Really really fun! I'm so glad I am rewarded by taking the step to journey.

See you in a few years, Brent! Thanks for being a part of all this!

Chica Go!

The week before I headed out on my journey, I started to panic. I have never before embarked on something like this, and alone. At the time of planning it sounded like a perfect idea, but as the weeks and days passed, anxiety started to get to me, and I found myself having trouble thinking, and breathing through it all. I was scared- to put it simply.

Driving into the city for the first time.

Almost sundown, on the way to Paws Here. This is so beautiful!

I am a mom. I have been a mom for the last twenty one years. My youngest daughter is now seventeen, and will be a senior next year. Often times, I wonder what life is going to look like next year, with an empty house. In a way, the trip was about me learning to adventure alone. I have always believed that when it all comes down to it- we are alone. We come into this world alone, and we leave alone. It’s been an important practice for me to get very comfortable with myself, and accept my aloneness, and learn how to function in it. It’s hard for my social self. So, actually leaving, experiencing this "pre- empty nest journey" started to get under my skin! 

About four days before I left I posted on Facebook “Should I stay or should I go...” Of course, it’s a reference to the Clash song, but it was also a plea for a nudge. Everyone that knew about my journey, chimed in. Supportive, and forceful they said, “Gooooo!”

Early signs of civilization! Go Girl...Just go!!

I knew this, of course. I had planned the trip. There wasn't really a possibility of canceling. I was going, but the fear was still there. Most times, answers to pressing issues come to me in the night. It’s my subconscious mind working things through. I woke up the next morning, and thought “Go! Go to Chicago!” and then I stopped. I said it aloud  “ChicaGO!” I separated the words, “Chick- a- GO”, and then it hit me, and I started laughing. “Chica GO!” I know it sounds crazy, but my answer was right there. “Go Girl!” It was about being a girl, and being brave, and taking a leap. I was going to the ultimate Go Girl city- “Chica Go!”

Fred and Dianne of Paws Here. I really like them.

Paws Here Grounds- Coop was so happy.

I had to drop Cooper off beforehand. I didn’t want to deal with him in the city, and he needed a break from the car. I had found a place near Utica, Illinois- about an hour outside the city. It was called PawsHere  and they were so kind and friendly on the phone, their prices were amazing, and they even said I could leave my trailer on their property for free. I was really excited to meet Fred and his wife Diane. They even stayed  at the kennel an extra hour for me and then as soon as Diane and I met- you couldn’t get us away from each other. We gabbed, and chatted, and I knew, once again, that this trip was enchanted, and blessed, and  I was absolutely suppose to be here.They wanted to hear all about my journey, and were excited about my script. It gave me that last bit of energy I needed to hit the city. Plus, Cooper- my sweet dear friend was excited, and they loved him up for the two days I was gone. http://www.pawsherepetresort.com/ He was groomed, and treated special. I barely recognized him when I returned Sunday. 

I arrived to meet Janet at a cute little pub late Thursday night. As soon as I pulled into Chicago- It was fabulous. The city is amazing. Surrounded by water the sky was lit up. I love a city. I love the energy it gives, and how alive and protected I feel when I am in one. I was telling Janet this. I said, “I think I love a city so much because it’s the ultimate community. People are close together, and connected. It’s impossible not to interact!” It’s how I feel. and Arriving in Chicago had been the light at the end of my tunnel. I just knew to my core, that great things were going to happen here. I knew that all the planning, and the ticks, and the creepers, and the loneliness was worth it. I could feel a sense of acceptance, and belonging. This was not in vain. My mission was meant to be- but it could have just been delirium from 20 hours of driving. Yes- 20 hours by the time I got to the pub. 

First days journey

I think I may have misspoken in my first posting. I said you could ride along in the passenger seat- it's too full- there's no room, sorry! Did I have amnesia on Sunday when I was packing? I brought clothes that are good for a nice hotel-and a lot of them. Well, I'm not a camper...I like nice sheets. Mostly, I like home- that is why this is such a big journey for me. 

The plan, however was to leave Monday, but in my wisdom-and scattered plans- it changed to Sunday. So many "planny" people would hate to travel with me. But Sunday "early" turned into Sunday late. After straightening up and sealing down the hatch at home for the house- sitter, and listening to my mom's millionth "You sure you can make it to San Francisco?" I was spent. But when the car is packed- you definitely don't want to go back and lay your head back down on your pillow, and wait til morning. I needed to go!!! So I called a friend of mine who owns a winery J&S Winery outside of San Luis, and ask if he minds me staying the night- you may have heard of it?. He doesn't only oblige- he stays awake until 1:30 am with a warm cup of tea. 

Outside of J&S Winery. Great Town.
I love how Cooper  is looking-
as if he understands the journey!

Here's the thing, I am learning and continue to learn- journeys don't happen on time. I know those of you that know me are saying "Nothing happens with her- on time!" I'm a horrible keeper of time. I've learned to accept it over the years because it is not in arrogance. It is not that I think my time is more important than others. In fact it is just the opposite. I used to beat myself up and feel horrible about my disorganization. I'd compare myself to others that always knew where the receipts were, had their tax papers neatly in a file, and showed up with a matching set of shoes- never wondering or double checking their path behind them. I'll save it for another time- but I actually did go to a wedding with shoes on the wrong foot- pointy high heels- pointing in the wrong direction. Man that killed- and took me awhile to figure it out. I guess what I'm saying is forgive yourself for your weakest points. My script is similar to this theme. My main character is much like me in the sense that she's frazzled. She forgets to take care of herself, and says " Yes" too much- so she runs behind on herself and loses the enjoyment of the moment. I refuse to lose the enjoyment of this trip however- late or not. 


My first day was amazing. I ran late- stayed with a friend who celebrated my journey. I picked up the teardrop and packed it up. When I pulled up and saw it may have hurt it's super ego. I said, "it's so tiny!" I really thought I'd made a mistake. The more I considered it, and Joe of www.vacations-in-a-can.com showed me around the thing I was excited. 

Joe- The Tear Drop Maker

 I headed out toward Reno but made it to Donner's Pass. I was driving through the pass- finally off the congested part of the I-80 and was in awe of the trees, and silence of the road. Beautiful. Amazing! This is why I am here. This was the reason for this trek. 


My character is going to come alive slowly- she's going to remember who she once was, and embrace that strength within her. I really believe that so many of us forget along the way...that belief in ourselves we once had. The little boy or girl that said " I can fly!" or brought an umbrella to the top of the rooftop thinking they were Mary Poppins. (It didn't work, by the way)- but the power of that belief is wondrous. My character in the script has no belief in herself- She thinks she needs others (mostly men) to help her. 

Sunset at Donner Pass.....
Way to end the day!

This whole area of California is beautiful- Truckee, Donner Pass- I couldn't resist. I wanted to wake up here- so I stayed at the State Park. But I'll save Tuesdays event for tomorrow. I am inspired beyond what I would have thought. I keep thinking to myself how amazing this whole thing is- that I was so scared, but I stepped into the unknown and am having a blast. This has been one of the best trips so far and it's just begun. For all of you calling me brave- to steal the Nike motto "Just Do It" or do laundry instead! 




 See you in Nevada/ Utah ......