Chica Go!

The week before I headed out on my journey, I started to panic. I have never before embarked on something like this, and alone. At the time of planning it sounded like a perfect idea, but as the weeks and days passed, anxiety started to get to me, and I found myself having trouble thinking, and breathing through it all. I was scared- to put it simply.

Driving into the city for the first time.

Almost sundown, on the way to Paws Here. This is so beautiful!

I am a mom. I have been a mom for the last twenty one years. My youngest daughter is now seventeen, and will be a senior next year. Often times, I wonder what life is going to look like next year, with an empty house. In a way, the trip was about me learning to adventure alone. I have always believed that when it all comes down to it- we are alone. We come into this world alone, and we leave alone. It’s been an important practice for me to get very comfortable with myself, and accept my aloneness, and learn how to function in it. It’s hard for my social self. So, actually leaving, experiencing this "pre- empty nest journey" started to get under my skin! 

About four days before I left I posted on Facebook “Should I stay or should I go...” Of course, it’s a reference to the Clash song, but it was also a plea for a nudge. Everyone that knew about my journey, chimed in. Supportive, and forceful they said, “Gooooo!”

Early signs of civilization! Go Girl...Just go!!

I knew this, of course. I had planned the trip. There wasn't really a possibility of canceling. I was going, but the fear was still there. Most times, answers to pressing issues come to me in the night. It’s my subconscious mind working things through. I woke up the next morning, and thought “Go! Go to Chicago!” and then I stopped. I said it aloud  “ChicaGO!” I separated the words, “Chick- a- GO”, and then it hit me, and I started laughing. “Chica GO!” I know it sounds crazy, but my answer was right there. “Go Girl!” It was about being a girl, and being brave, and taking a leap. I was going to the ultimate Go Girl city- “Chica Go!”

Fred and Dianne of Paws Here. I really like them.

Paws Here Grounds- Coop was so happy.

I had to drop Cooper off beforehand. I didn’t want to deal with him in the city, and he needed a break from the car. I had found a place near Utica, Illinois- about an hour outside the city. It was called PawsHere  and they were so kind and friendly on the phone, their prices were amazing, and they even said I could leave my trailer on their property for free. I was really excited to meet Fred and his wife Diane. They even stayed  at the kennel an extra hour for me and then as soon as Diane and I met- you couldn’t get us away from each other. We gabbed, and chatted, and I knew, once again, that this trip was enchanted, and blessed, and  I was absolutely suppose to be here.They wanted to hear all about my journey, and were excited about my script. It gave me that last bit of energy I needed to hit the city. Plus, Cooper- my sweet dear friend was excited, and they loved him up for the two days I was gone. http://www.pawsherepetresort.com/ He was groomed, and treated special. I barely recognized him when I returned Sunday. 

I arrived to meet Janet at a cute little pub late Thursday night. As soon as I pulled into Chicago- It was fabulous. The city is amazing. Surrounded by water the sky was lit up. I love a city. I love the energy it gives, and how alive and protected I feel when I am in one. I was telling Janet this. I said, “I think I love a city so much because it’s the ultimate community. People are close together, and connected. It’s impossible not to interact!” It’s how I feel. and Arriving in Chicago had been the light at the end of my tunnel. I just knew to my core, that great things were going to happen here. I knew that all the planning, and the ticks, and the creepers, and the loneliness was worth it. I could feel a sense of acceptance, and belonging. This was not in vain. My mission was meant to be- but it could have just been delirium from 20 hours of driving. Yes- 20 hours by the time I got to the pub. 

First days journey

I think I may have misspoken in my first posting. I said you could ride along in the passenger seat- it's too full- there's no room, sorry! Did I have amnesia on Sunday when I was packing? I brought clothes that are good for a nice hotel-and a lot of them. Well, I'm not a camper...I like nice sheets. Mostly, I like home- that is why this is such a big journey for me. 

The plan, however was to leave Monday, but in my wisdom-and scattered plans- it changed to Sunday. So many "planny" people would hate to travel with me. But Sunday "early" turned into Sunday late. After straightening up and sealing down the hatch at home for the house- sitter, and listening to my mom's millionth "You sure you can make it to San Francisco?" I was spent. But when the car is packed- you definitely don't want to go back and lay your head back down on your pillow, and wait til morning. I needed to go!!! So I called a friend of mine who owns a winery J&S Winery outside of San Luis, and ask if he minds me staying the night- you may have heard of it?. He doesn't only oblige- he stays awake until 1:30 am with a warm cup of tea. 

Outside of J&S Winery. Great Town.
I love how Cooper  is looking-
as if he understands the journey!

Here's the thing, I am learning and continue to learn- journeys don't happen on time. I know those of you that know me are saying "Nothing happens with her- on time!" I'm a horrible keeper of time. I've learned to accept it over the years because it is not in arrogance. It is not that I think my time is more important than others. In fact it is just the opposite. I used to beat myself up and feel horrible about my disorganization. I'd compare myself to others that always knew where the receipts were, had their tax papers neatly in a file, and showed up with a matching set of shoes- never wondering or double checking their path behind them. I'll save it for another time- but I actually did go to a wedding with shoes on the wrong foot- pointy high heels- pointing in the wrong direction. Man that killed- and took me awhile to figure it out. I guess what I'm saying is forgive yourself for your weakest points. My script is similar to this theme. My main character is much like me in the sense that she's frazzled. She forgets to take care of herself, and says " Yes" too much- so she runs behind on herself and loses the enjoyment of the moment. I refuse to lose the enjoyment of this trip however- late or not. 


My first day was amazing. I ran late- stayed with a friend who celebrated my journey. I picked up the teardrop and packed it up. When I pulled up and saw it may have hurt it's super ego. I said, "it's so tiny!" I really thought I'd made a mistake. The more I considered it, and Joe of www.vacations-in-a-can.com showed me around the thing I was excited. 

Joe- The Tear Drop Maker

 I headed out toward Reno but made it to Donner's Pass. I was driving through the pass- finally off the congested part of the I-80 and was in awe of the trees, and silence of the road. Beautiful. Amazing! This is why I am here. This was the reason for this trek. 


My character is going to come alive slowly- she's going to remember who she once was, and embrace that strength within her. I really believe that so many of us forget along the way...that belief in ourselves we once had. The little boy or girl that said " I can fly!" or brought an umbrella to the top of the rooftop thinking they were Mary Poppins. (It didn't work, by the way)- but the power of that belief is wondrous. My character in the script has no belief in herself- She thinks she needs others (mostly men) to help her. 

Sunset at Donner Pass.....
Way to end the day!

This whole area of California is beautiful- Truckee, Donner Pass- I couldn't resist. I wanted to wake up here- so I stayed at the State Park. But I'll save Tuesdays event for tomorrow. I am inspired beyond what I would have thought. I keep thinking to myself how amazing this whole thing is- that I was so scared, but I stepped into the unknown and am having a blast. This has been one of the best trips so far and it's just begun. For all of you calling me brave- to steal the Nike motto "Just Do It" or do laundry instead! 




 See you in Nevada/ Utah ......